The Day of the Operation - Ten Years Later

Date: March 5, 2022

The wind played a gentle but gusty tune on a relatively quiet Saturday night. The dimly lit park, sparsely occupied by a few septuagenarians preparing for their evening walks, couples engaged in public displays of affection on park benches, and parents playing with their kids, created a unique ambience. For over a year, I had envisioned how this day would unfold, and I was mentally and physically prepared for it. Yet, a hint of nervousness lingered as I embarked on something entirely new—a challenge that, if successful, promised to make it one of the finest nights of my life. Conversely, failure would mean risking everything.

Exactly ten years ago, on this day, I endured the most difficult night of my life. Reflecting on the past decade, it's been a journey marked by both trauma and triumph—the initial half marred by despair, failures, loneliness, and chronic depression, and the latter half witnessing a remarkable resurgence of happiness and success.

In the early years of the decade, walking was a painful experience, limited due to the worsening condition of my hip bones. Despite utmost caution, the pain persisted, eventually affecting both my knees with Avascular Necrosis by 2016. Unexpectedly, a minor car accident four years ago, though aggravating the knee condition, served as a catalyst for me to break free from a sedentary lifestyle and embrace active walking. This significant development changed my life forever.

On June 30, 2018, I initiated my 10K streak—committing to walking a minimum of 10,000 steps every day. As of March 5, 2022, the streak boasts of a record-setting 1,345 magnificent days. I meticulously plan my walks and work diligently to maintain the streak. It is the most significant accomplishment of my life thus far.

Being an active walker for nearly four years now, I understand that the briskness of steps matters more than just the numbers. Progressing from eleven minutes per kilometre in 2018 to slightly over six minutes per kilometre in 2022, my journey has been both gradual and significant. To commemorate the 10th anniversary of my Core Decompression procedure, I set the audacious goal of walking 10 kilometres in under an hour—an endeavour fraught with challenges. Although I fell just over five minutes short of my target after surpassing my 10K records throughout 2021 and early 2022, it stands as a testament to my determination and perseverance.

A second ambitious objective was to complete a distance of 21.0975 kilometres in a single session—a Half Marathon. Until March 5, 2022, I had never walked more than 12 kilometres in one go. Acknowledging the risks of putting my hips and knees under such pressure, I embarked on a breezy Saturday night with the goal of etching this day in my memory forever.

During the Half Marathon, the pace was deliberately slower, gradually increasing as the race progressed. Guided by the inspiring music of the love of my life, I surpassed walkers of various age groups during the initial hour. By 9:30 PM, most park-goers had left, leaving me as the sole occupant.

After an hour and forty-five minutes, I realised this was the longest I had ever walked in a single session. The job, however, was far from done; nearly an hour's walk still lay ahead. The windy conditions spared me from profuse sweating, but fatigue set in. At the two-hour mark, having covered 16 kilometres, exhaustion was palpable. Yet, determined to overcome physical limits, I summoned every ounce of strength to complete the remaining distance through sheer psychological will.

The culmination of this marathon effort occurred after two hours and forty minutes—an overwhelming victory in the form of completing the Half Marathon. Waves of emotion swept over me as I reflected on the pain and disappointment of the past decade.

As the day concluded, fatigue and pain prevailed, but nothing could alter the fact that I had just lived through one of the greatest moments of my life.

A Journey of 1,000 Days

March 5, 2021

June 30, 2018, marked the beginning of the 10K streak—a journey culminating in a significant milestone: completing 1,000 consecutive days on March 25, 2021.

During this period, I logged an impressive tally of steps and kilometres, totalling 11,101,932 steps and covering 8,605.5 kilometres.

Several months before initiating the streak, I grappled with the challenges of Avascular Necrosis for over six years. My hips were a constant source of discomfort, with a clicking sound accompanying every step, signalling the inevitable collapse of my hip joints. Concurrently, my knees endured immense pressure, overshadowing the pain in my hips.

On March 24, 2018, a minor car accident exacerbated the condition in my knees, intensifying my discomfort. Rather than succumb to despair, I opted for a radical approach—active walking. Starting with a modest 1,000 steps daily, I swiftly progressed to consistently achieving over 8,000 steps within months, undergoing a profound lifestyle transformation from a sedentary existence.

By the conclusion of June 2018, I routinely achieved 10,000 steps, prompting me to challenge myself to maintain this benchmark throughout July of that year. With unwavering determination, I surpassed this initial hurdle and sustained the streak month after month thereafter.

Walking amidst persistent pain became my norm for nearly a decade, but the strain I imposed on my legs during the streak far exceeded prior thresholds. In the initial stages, my body struggled to acclimate to this rigorous physical regimen, resulting in inflammation in the heel tissue and agonizing bouts of Plantar Fasciitis. Despite these adversities, I persisted.

By October 2018, not only had I consistently attained 10,000 daily steps, but I also began to derive enjoyment from my walks. Engaging in weekly 5 km GPS challenges injected a competitive edge into my routine, facilitating my progress from an 11-minute kilometre pace in July 2018 to under 9 minutes by January 2019.

Around the 200-day mark, a pinched nerve in my left foot presented yet another hurdle, compelling me to persevere through weeks of discomfort. Overcoming these obstacles bolstered my resolve, ultimately enabling me to partake in the TCS World 10K race on May 19, 2019, where I earned my inaugural medal in the Majja 5K Run category. Brisk-walking and briefly running amidst a sea of people is an experience I will never forget.

The summer of 2019 witnessed another milestone when a routine indoor walking session transitioned into a full-fledged running session. I ran for an hour without a break, achieving my highest step count in an hour (close to 8,800) and likely covering 10 kilometres in under an hour—an accomplishment unimaginable a year prior.

The year 2019 proved monumental, with statistics reflecting over 3,000 kilometres walked and 4 million steps taken, setting a remarkable benchmark.

Despite the onset of the global pandemic, which necessitated lockdowns and confinement, my walking streak persisted. The challenges posed by the pandemic failed to deter my determination, and for the second consecutive year, I surpassed the milestones of 3,000 kilometres and 4 million steps.

On March 5, 2021, commemorating the ninth anniversary of my Core Decompression procedure, I embarked on a new challenge—walking 10 kilometres in a single GPS session, a feat I had yet to attempt outdoors. Reflecting on the events preceding my surgery imbued this endeavour with profound significance, evoking a torrent of emotions upon completion.

Embarking on such a journey requires not only courage, motivation, and determination but also an unwavering commitment to consistency. I am immensely proud of my mental and physical fortitude, having endured pain and overcome formidable odds throughout this remarkable 1,000-day journey.

600 Days

TCS World 10K - May 19, 2019

Eight years ago, on the 8th of March, I was discharged from the hospital. As I was wheeled out, a rush of emotions engulfed me - I felt profoundly insecure and helpless.

The following four years proved to be the toughest of my life. I grappled with anxiety, chronic depression, and loneliness and battled countless inner demons.

However, a turning point arrived four years ago when I made a pivotal decision - to fight back. Determined not to let depression dictate my life any longer, I embarked on a journey of self-restoration.

Despite facing a setback in 2018 due to a car accident, I refused to succumb to despair. I was not willing to forfeit four precious years of progress.

Thus, I devised a simple yet radical solution - to walk more every day. Counting my steps became a beacon of hope and a symbol of resilience.

With steady determination, I gradually increased my daily steps until I consistently achieved 10,000 steps. This commitment led to an astonishing milestone - 600 consecutive days of meeting this goal.

The impact on my physical, emotional, and psychological well-being has been profound. I find myself happier and more content than ever before. Where once there was despair, now there is hope - a testament to the unpredictable nature of life.

My journey serves as a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is always a glimmer of hope. By embracing resilience and perseverance, we can overcome even the most formidable challenges.

I am immensely grateful for the transformation I've experienced and am determined to continue walking, fighting, and inspiring others along the way.

Rahul Dravid's Retirement Finally Sinks In

Rahul Dravid - My Idol
Image Courtesy: Google Images

Today, when the Indian Test Team takes the field against New Zealand, one player who has been an important part of my growing up years, the person who I have idolized and worshipped since the past 16 years will not take the field today. Rahul Dravid will not be a part of the Indian Test Team anymore. This will be a very emotional moment for me as I am not used to seeing an Indian Test side without my Idol. Dravid had missed only 3 Tests in his entire career, 2 against South Africa in 2010 and 1 against Sri Lanka in 2005 due to injuries. He was a part of each and every Test Match India has played since his debut in 1996, apart from those 3 matches. So technically, today will indeed be the very first time I won’t be seeing Dravid take the field in a Test Match for India. It has been 5 Months and 2 Weeks since his retirement but the fact that he has retired will finally sink in when India goes out to bat today and the first wicket falls but Dravid will not walk into bat at No.3, that will be very difficult for me to watch. Today will be a very emotional day for every Dravid fan.

I remember when Dravid announced his retirement on 9^th of March this year; I was going through the most devastating week of my life. I had to undergo an operation called “Core Decompression” on both my hips for my condition, Avascular Necrosis, due to which I was confined to a wheelchair for the next two months. The day when I got discharged, that is the day before his retirement, I had no clue about the announcement. When I checked my Facebook and Twitter; I could only see posts regarding Dravid’s impending retirement as he had called for a press meet the following day. I almost brushed it off as another rumor and didn’t believe it at first.

But Dravid had indeed called the press meet on March 9^th and announced his retirement as gracefully as he has played Cricket his entire career. Even when I heard the words from his own mouth that he is retiring, I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even cry for the next few hours. I had no tribute post ready as I was not prepared for his retirement. It took me a few hours to compose myself to write one final tribute post. It was also my first day getting used to moving around the house in a wheelchair, so it became equally difficult for me to write the post, physically as well as emotionally. I couldn’t sit on the wheelchair for long as my feet would swell nor could I sit on a bed and write the post as my back would give away. In-spite of all the obstacles, I decided to write one final tribute post for my Idol.

I am absolutely proud of this post as I wrote it in the most extreme circumstances, it is the most difficult post I ever had to write, and it incidentally is also my longest post. It took me well over 4 hours to finish the post as I had to take breaks at regular intervals to give my legs some rest. But eventually it did take a toll on me, sitting on a wheelchair for that long isn’t such a good idea, that too a day after getting discharged. After I finished my post, my feet had swollen. I had to listen to a mouthful from my mom for risking my own health while writing that post, even poor Dravid was not spared by my mom. But such is my passion; I had to write that post, I had put in everything into that post but it did hurt me when not many people actually read the entire post. The people who read it and commented on it, I am always thankful but it didn’t get the kind of readership I expected.

Anyways you can read the post here: My Idol Rahul Dravid Retires - A Nostalgic Tribute. Please do take some time out and read this post. It will make me very happy.

Laxman and Dravid during their epic partnership in the Kolkata Test - 2001
Image Courtesy: Google Images

Apart from Dravid, another legend VVS Laxman will also not take the field today for India. He was an absolute magician with the bat, a genius who was part of the famous quartet which also included Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly. Laxman made his Test debut a few months after Dravid and Ganguly made theirs, in 1996. He announced his retirement a few days ago despite being selected for the Two-Test series against New Zealand starting today. It is really unfortunate Laxman had to bid a tearful adieu to International Cricket as he was hurt by some of the comments made by former Cricketers in a few columns. As he didn’t want to be a burden to the team and wanted to give youngsters a chance, he gracefully quit from the game.

India had suffered two humiliating series defeats overseas against England and Australia respectively in the past year. We lost 8 consecutive Test Matches. It was our worst performance in over 30 years. Although Dravid was in outstanding form against England, scoring 3 centuries, even though we lost the series 4-0 but Laxman was in dreadful form, managed to score more than 50 only 3 times in eight Tests. In what turned out to be their final Test series against Australia in early 2012, both Dravid and Laxman had very dismal series; it was heartbreaking to see such legends bow out from the game in that fashion. But it takes nothing away from the fact that those two will always remain two of the greatest cricketers to have ever played the game.

Dravid and Laxman bid tearful farewells to International Cricket. Two of the most well behaved Cricketers you would ever come across who epitomized “The Gentlemen’s Game” by being true gentlemen. It is an irreparable loss not just to Indian Cricket but to World Cricket. They will surely be missed. 

A Beautiful Birthday Gift

A month after the operation. Still smiling :)

Six months of enduring some excruciating pain, one unforgettable day of operation, after 6 weeks of physically challenging recuperation and after many mental, physical and emotional fight backs later, I finally managed to take my first few steps towards complete recovery today, a day before my birthday. It was like I was learning to walk all over again, one baby step after another. It was one of the most emotional moments of my life.

My knee muscles had become weaker because I hadn’t walked for close to six weeks, hence when I tried to walk I felt like I might fall over any moment. I was still very much imbalanced but managed to make myself steady to take my very first steps after the operation. I was overcome with emotions. Finally I felt no pain while walking; I was almost used to the pain while I walked, so much so it felt weird that I didn’t feel the pain while walking. Although it might take another two to three weeks more before I can make a complete recovery but today was one of the most emotional and happiest days of my life.

It might be a happy co-incidence that I took my first steps towards recovery a day before my birthday on April 12th exactly two years ago when I was diagnosed with ITP as well. My platelet count had miraculously increased to normal levels a day before my birthday. Although my platelet count plummeted 10 days later to below normal levels again. My platelets gradually increased after that and I made a complete recovery by the end of May, 2010.

My status message on April 12th 2010, a day before my birthday 

I don’t know what else to say because I feel too emotional to put my thoughts into words today. My mother has always been a pillar of strength for me and I could never have fought these battles on my own without her undying support and blessings. She is my inspiration. I love you Maa. You are the greatest mother in the whole wide world. And my dear bro as well for his love and support, I don’t know what I’ll do without him by my side.

I want to thank all my closest friends for their never ending support when I really need them. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends in my life. My few close relatives and cousins whom I truly love and trust, you know who you are, thank you for being there for me when I needed it.

And also a special thank you to my dear blog friends. Your amazing comments made me so much stronger, I can’t be thankful enough.

And with that, The Eternal Fighter makes another determined comeback, albeit not spectacular or dramatic like many previous occasions but it was definitely a hard fought comeback.

The Day of the Operation

On the 4th of March, 2012, I was admitted to a hospital to receive treatment for the pain I was enduring in my left hip bone for the past few months. An MRI scan confirmed that I was suffering from a condition called Bilateral Avascular Necrosis (Bilateral AVN), meaning both my hip bones have been affected by this condition (I never felt the pain in my right hip bone, but the MRI scan showed that my right hip is also affected and is in its earliest of early stages of the condition). So, an operation called Core Decompression was performed on both my hips on the 5th of March, and I have been confined to a wheelchair ever since. I am not supposed to walk for the next 4 to 5 weeks at least.

I had written a series of logs documenting the “Day of the Operation” while I was in the hospital and had saved them as Notes on my phone. I would like to present them to my readers. Initially, I wanted to keep them only to myself, but later on, I changed my mind. I haven’t paraphrased or modified the sentence structure too much. To provide more clarity, I have inserted parenthetical statements. So, the below few paragraphs will showcase my exact state of mind on the day of my operation.

Log 1:

I have been on empty stomach since last night. I was a little agitated thinking about today but somehow managed to have some good night’s sleep. My operation was scheduled to take place at 10 AM, but as per my prior experience with Manipal Hospital, I can safely say I am in for a long day. (I was also made to wait a long time when I was admitted here for my ITP issue two years ago; a procedure called Bone Marrow was supposed to be done by 10 in the morning but it didn’t happen until 01:30 PM).

My visits to the loo became a bit frequent in the meanwhile, and I kept asking myself, “Will this be the last time I answer my nature’s call on my own for the next few weeks?” I tried not to let thoughts like these bother me, but it was becoming difficult as the wait was excruciating.

As I was on empty stomach since last night, my mother also refused to eat anything, which upset me a lot as I didn’t want my mom to suffer because of me. However, I eventually convinced her to eat something, which gave me a lot of relief. 

It's quarter past twelve, and I still haven’t got the call to go to the Operation Theatre. I was informed that the OT is full and several patients are still in waiting, so I was made to wait even longer. I was getting restless by the minute but held myself together. I had no fear but just wanted to get it over with.

Log 2:

The notes below were documented after I returned from the operating room.

Finally, at 3 PM, I got the call to go to the Operation Theatre. I felt a bit odd as I was moved to the OT on a stretcher. I experienced a spine-tingling moment when I reached the area where the operating rooms are located. Not surprisingly, I was made to wait again as there was some cleaning up process going on after an operation. I was dumped just outside the OT in a restricted room.

I just laid there watching a few doctors and helpers walking back and forth by me. The wait seemed endless, and my restlessness grew even more. In the meantime, a doctor, who was at the end of her shift, spoke to me. She asked me when did I eat last, I answered “Last night.” She felt bad and she said, “Oh, this is why we don't like to make the patients wait, but the OT is very busy today.” I just nodded. Before leaving, she just waved at me and said “Good luck,” and I replied with a “Thank you” and a smile.

Operation Theatre (Representational Image)

Finally, I was taken into the Operation Theatre. I glanced at the clock, and it was 05:05 PM. I said to myself, “Freak, that was the longest two hours of my life.”

I was given the anaesthesia, and I was asked to breathe heavily into an oxygen mask. Before I went under, I received a caring pat on the back by Dr Varma, my orthopaedic surgeon. And, that’s the last thing I remember.

When I woke up, I remember shivering profusely. It took me three whole seconds to realise the operation was actually over. The first thing I read were the words “Post Ortho Operation Theatre” on the board right in front of me. I was still shivering, but I was in my senses, so much so that I asked the lady who was there in the Post OT room, “Was it really that cold in the OT?” barely managing to say those words in a single breath. She smiled and said, “Yes,” indicating that I need to rest now. A heating instrument was placed right above me to increase my body temperature. I overheard the lady talking to someone on the phone that my operation went on for an hour from 05:30 to 06:30 PM. I asked her what time it was, and she said, “Ten past seven.” So, I was unconscious for over two hours, and I was kept in the Post OT room for another two hours. Later that night, I was taken to the X-Ray room to get the X-Ray of my hips after the operation.

I was to be shifted to another stretcher to carry me to the X-Ray room, which was on one of the basement floors. A couple of nurses and helpers came along. A junior doctor asked me if I can move to the stretcher on my own, and I immediately nodded in approval. When I tried to move my legs, I couldn’t move them an inch. Both my hips were heavily plastered, and the pressure was so immense, I couldn’t even move them. I could feel my legs but didn’t have enough strength to get them across to the other stretcher. I told them, “I can’t move my legs.” When I uttered those words, it was probably one of the most significant moments of my life. I couldn’t believe I said that. So, a couple of nurses held my legs and placed them onto the stretcher. A male nurse tried to hold my shoulders to help me move to the stretcher, but I refused. I said, “I can do it on my own.” My ego was already bruised, so I wouldn’t let that happen again. I garnered all my upper body strength and managed to move onto the stretcher on my own. It was a triumphant moment. Considering the fact that I hadn’t eaten or drank anything for 24 hours now, I still had some strength left in me.

I was carried to the X-Ray room by a cute nurse and another female helper. I felt nauseous along the way because of the anaesthesia but tried to hold it in. We were in the middle of nowhere, so the nurse couldn’t find anything like a bowl or a cover for my vomiting sensation. Along the way, I felt somewhat okay and was taken straight to the X-Ray room. There was again another struggle here to get me across to the X-Ray table and then back onto the stretcher. After the X-Ray was done, I was going to be taken back to my room on the ninth floor. While coming back, I finally saw my mom and my brother with a concerned look on their faces. I just looked at my bro and gave him a thumbs-up, as if to say I was doing great. Before we could enter my room, I vomited on the floor. It was an embarrassing moment but was unavoidable. I was placed on my bed a few minutes later, and yet again, I insisted on moving over to my bed on my own. But, I needed some assistance again. And, so it was finally done!

But the real battle starts now!

Another Devastation, Another Fightback!

A Fightback!
Image Courtesy: Google Images

I knew it was not going to be a normal day. I didn't know why but I certainly felt it. The day started with the delivery guy from Flipkart calling me up and asking me whether I would be home to receive the package. The package was all the books I needed to prepare for my Civil Services exam. My dream is to be an IAS Officer, and that dream is finally starting to materialise. I was happy to receive the package. My preparation had been unofficially underway for the past few months but now it finally became official. I had been through a torrid time personally of late, so this small step to realise my long-cherished dream was definitely a confidence-building measure.

The day was important for another reason as well. I had to undergo another blood test (have to do it every three months) to check if my platelets are still holding up in the normal levels or not. I was completely off tablets since last November, so it was very crucial for me to know if my platelets are holding up well without the help of any medication. For those who are not aware, I was diagnosed with a condition called Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura almost two years ago, and I have been struggling to recover from that condition ever since. So, today was the D-Day so to speak to know whether I have completely recovered from my illness or not.

So, I went to the hospital to get the blood test done and consult my haemotologist for further actions. I felt really good and was confident the results would be positive, so I wasn't worried. The report was good, my platelet count was normal and safe at 326,000. I felt really happy as I have finally recovered from my condition after almost two years of struggle and hardships. But, I do have to come again for another round of blood tests three months later.

And there was one more reason for me to feel happy. My beloved Indian Cricket Team was annihilating Sri Lanka in their last group match. They had to beat SL with a bonus point to have any chance of qualifying for the finals in the ongoing CB Series. As a genuine cricket lover, I have been really disappointed by our team's dismal showing in this series; I had almost given up hope. But their stunning performance against SL restored my faith in my beloved game. As I was watching the match in the hospital lounge, I have to say, I was more worried about the result of the match than my blood test report.

But all that happiness I had been experiencing since morning was about to be short-lived.

When I was diagnosed with ITP, I was given a whole lot of medication, including steroids and other tablets. Obviously, the medicines had taken a toll on me, and I had gained a lot of weight as well back then. For the past few months, I have been experiencing pain in my left upper thigh bone (femoral head), and I feel some discomfort while walking. Initially, I suspected it to be a cramp but, as days went on, the pain did not subside. So, I suspected something was not right. For some reason, I refused to consult a doctor. I don't know why; maybe I was punishing myself for my sins. I know it doesn't make much sense to anyone reading this, but my state of mind was such, I wanted to endure the pain and live with it. Despite repeated attempts from my mom, I kept delaying to consult a doctor regarding the pain in my hip bone. 

So, I finally complained about it to my haematologist when we consulted him on the 27th of February. I asked him whether the pain was due to the side effects of the steroids, or was it something else. He suggested that I immediately consult an orthopaedician, and they would check my medical records and come to a conclusion as to why I was experiencing the pain. An X-Ray was performed on my thigh bones. And after examining the X-Ray, the orthopaedician told me that I have been suffering from a condition called Avascular Necrosis—It is a disease where there is a death of bone components due to interruption of blood supply. The reason for my condition was indeed due to the steroids I had received to overcome my other illness. My fate is such, the medicines given to me to cure one illness has become the cause for another. I am thankfully in the early stages of the condition (Stage I), so for young patients like myself, a procedure called Core Decompression will be performed. It will be done on both my hips as the doctor suspects that my right hip is also affected.

They hope to achieve three things by doing Core Decompression:

• Lower or decompress the blood pressure.
• Restore the blood circulation to the dead bone tissue.
• And, hopefully, relieve my pain. 

The doctor said that there is only a 50 to 60% chance of complete recovery with this process. And, later, he said something that completely stunned me. I will be confined to a wheelchair for more than six weeks after the procedure. The thought of me not being able to walk on my own frightened me. I have never been dependent on anyone—ever. So, this thought of depending on crutches or others to help me to even walk or not being able to go to the bathroom on my own—is something I am not able to fathom.

An MRI scan was done on both my hips today morning (1st of March), and the report is expected tomorrow. Based on that, my orthopaedician will decide the future course of action.

I was really devastated when I got to know about my hip condition. On the day I overcame one illness, I had to deal with another. This is the newest battle in my life, and I am ready to fight it and overcome it with the same resilience and defiance as I have been fighting all the obstacles in my life. Now, I am all the more determined to do really well in my IAS exams. I won't let my condition affect my preparations. 

Some live to fight another day. I fight to live, every day.

NOTHING CAN BREAK ME! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN BREAK ME!