Another Devastation, Another Fightback!

A Fightback!
Image Courtesy: Google Images

I knew it was not going to be a normal day. I didn't know why but I certainly felt it. The day started with the delivery guy from Flipkart calling me up and asking me whether I would be home to receive the package. The package was all the books I needed to prepare for my Civil Services exam. My dream is to be an IAS Officer, and that dream is finally starting to materialise. I was happy to receive the package. My preparation had been unofficially underway for the past few months but now it finally became official. I had been through a torrid time personally of late, so this small step to realise my long-cherished dream was definitely a confidence-building measure.

The day was important for another reason as well. I had to undergo another blood test (have to do it every three months) to check if my platelets are still holding up in the normal levels or not. I was completely off tablets since last November, so it was very crucial for me to know if my platelets are holding up well without the help of any medication. For those who are not aware, I was diagnosed with a condition called Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura almost two years ago, and I have been struggling to recover from that condition ever since. So, today was the D-Day so to speak to know whether I have completely recovered from my illness or not.

So, I went to the hospital to get the blood test done and consult my haemotologist for further actions. I felt really good and was confident the results would be positive, so I wasn't worried. The report was good, my platelet count was normal and safe at 326,000. I felt really happy as I have finally recovered from my condition after almost two years of struggle and hardships. But, I do have to come again for another round of blood tests three months later.

And there was one more reason for me to feel happy. My beloved Indian Cricket Team was annihilating Sri Lanka in their last group match. They had to beat SL with a bonus point to have any chance of qualifying for the finals in the ongoing CB Series. As a genuine cricket lover, I have been really disappointed by our team's dismal showing in this series; I had almost given up hope. But their stunning performance against SL restored my faith in my beloved game. As I was watching the match in the hospital lounge, I have to say, I was more worried about the result of the match than my blood test report.

But all that happiness I had been experiencing since morning was about to be short-lived.

When I was diagnosed with ITP, I was given a whole lot of medication, including steroids and other tablets. Obviously, the medicines had taken a toll on me, and I had gained a lot of weight as well back then. For the past few months, I have been experiencing pain in my left upper thigh bone (femoral head), and I feel some discomfort while walking. Initially, I suspected it to be a cramp but, as days went on, the pain did not subside. So, I suspected something was not right. For some reason, I refused to consult a doctor. I don't know why; maybe I was punishing myself for my sins. I know it doesn't make much sense to anyone reading this, but my state of mind was such, I wanted to endure the pain and live with it. Despite repeated attempts from my mom, I kept delaying to consult a doctor regarding the pain in my hip bone. 

So, I finally complained about it to my haematologist when we consulted him on the 27th of February. I asked him whether the pain was due to the side effects of the steroids, or was it something else. He suggested that I immediately consult an orthopaedician, and they would check my medical records and come to a conclusion as to why I was experiencing the pain. An X-Ray was performed on my thigh bones. And after examining the X-Ray, the orthopaedician told me that I have been suffering from a condition called Avascular Necrosis—It is a disease where there is a death of bone components due to interruption of blood supply. The reason for my condition was indeed due to the steroids I had received to overcome my other illness. My fate is such, the medicines given to me to cure one illness has become the cause for another. I am thankfully in the early stages of the condition (Stage I), so for young patients like myself, a procedure called Core Decompression will be performed. It will be done on both my hips as the doctor suspects that my right hip is also affected.

They hope to achieve three things by doing Core Decompression:

• Lower or decompress the blood pressure.
• Restore the blood circulation to the dead bone tissue.
• And, hopefully, relieve my pain. 

The doctor said that there is only a 50 to 60% chance of complete recovery with this process. And, later, he said something that completely stunned me. I will be confined to a wheelchair for more than six weeks after the procedure. The thought of me not being able to walk on my own frightened me. I have never been dependent on anyone—ever. So, this thought of depending on crutches or others to help me to even walk or not being able to go to the bathroom on my own—is something I am not able to fathom.

An MRI scan was done on both my hips today morning (1st of March), and the report is expected tomorrow. Based on that, my orthopaedician will decide the future course of action.

I was really devastated when I got to know about my hip condition. On the day I overcame one illness, I had to deal with another. This is the newest battle in my life, and I am ready to fight it and overcome it with the same resilience and defiance as I have been fighting all the obstacles in my life. Now, I am all the more determined to do really well in my IAS exams. I won't let my condition affect my preparations. 

Some live to fight another day. I fight to live, every day.

NOTHING CAN BREAK ME! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN BREAK ME!