Thursday, March 1, 2012

Another Devastation, Another Fightback!

A Fightback!
Image Courtesy: Google Images
I knew it was not going to be a normal day, I didn't know why but I certainly felt it. The day started with the delivery guy from Flipkart calling me up and asking me whether I would be home to to receive the package. The package was all the books I needed to prepare for my Civil Services exam. My dream is to be an IAS Officer and that dream has finally started to materialize, I was happy to receive the package. My preparation had been unofficially underway since the past few months but now it finally became official. I had been through a torrid time personally of late, so this small step to realize my long cherished dream was definitely a confidence building measure.

The day was important for another reason as well. I had to undergo another blood test (have to do it every three months) to check if my platelets are still holding up in the normal levels or not. I was completely off tablets since last November so it was very crucial for me to know if my platelets are holding up well without the help of any medication. For those who are not aware, I was diagnosed with a condition called Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura almost two years ago and I have been struggling to recover from that condition ever since. So today was the D-Day so to speak to know whether I have completely recovered from my illness or not.

So I went to the hospital to get the blood test done and consult my haemotologist for further actions. I felt really good and was confident the results would be positive, so I wasn't worried. The report was good, my platelet count was normal and safe at 326,000. I felt really happy as I have finally recovered from my condition after almost two years of struggle and hardships. But, I do have to come again for another round of blood tests 3 months later.

And there was one more reason for me to feel happy. My beloved Indian Cricket team was annihilating Sri Lanka in their last group match. They had to beat SL with a bonus point to have any chance of qualifying for the finals in the ongoing CB Series. As a genuine Cricket lover I have been really disappointed by our team's dismal showing in this series, I had almost given up hope. But their stunning performance against SL restored my faith in my beloved game. As I was watching the match in the hospital lounge, I have to say, I was more worried about the result of the match than my blood test report.

But all that happiness I had been experiencing since morning was about to be short lived.

When I was diagnosed with ITP, I was given a whole lot of medication, including steroids and innumerable number of tablets. Obviously the medicines had taken a toll on me, I had gained a lot of weight as well back then. Since the past few months I started experiencing pain in my left-upper thigh bone (femoral head), I used to feel some discomfort while walking. Initially I suspected it to be a cramp but as days went by and the pain not subsiding I suspected something was not right. For some reason I kept on delaying to consult a doctor, I don't know why but maybe I was punishing myself for my sins. I know it doesn't make any sense to anyone reading this but my state of mind was such, I wanted to endure the pain and live with it. In-spite of repeated attempts from my mom, I kept delaying to consult a doctor regarding the pain in my hip bone. 

So I finally complained about it to my hematologist when we consulted him day before yesterday, asked him whether the pain was due to the side-effects of the steroids or was it something else? He suggested I immediately consult an orthopedician and they would check my medical records and come to a conclusion as to why I was experiencing the pain. An X-Ray was done on my thigh bones and after examining the X-Ray the Orthopedician told me I have been suffering from a condition called Avascular Necrosis - It is a disease where there is a death of bone components due to interruption of blood supply. The reason for my condition was indeed due to the steroids I had received to overcome my other illness. My fate is such, the medicines given to me to cure one illness has become the cause for another. I am thankfully in the early stages of the condition (Stage I), so for young patients like myself a procedure called Core Decompression is to be done. It will be done on both my hips as the doctor suspects my right hip might also get affected in future.

They hope to achieve three things by doing Core Decompression:

  • Lower - Decompress the blood pressure.
  • Restore the blood circulation to the dead bone tissue.
  • And hopefully relieve my pain. 

The doctor said there is only a 50 to 60% chance of complete recovery with this process. And later he said something which had me completely stunned. I will be confined to a wheelchair for more than 6 weeks after the procedure. The thought of me not able to walk on my own frightened me. I have never been dependent on anyone ever, so this thought of depending on crutches or others to help me to even walk or not able to go to the bathroom on my own is something I am not able to fathom.

An MRI scan was done on both my hips, report is expected tomorrow and based on that my Orthopedician will decide the future course of actions.

I was really devastated when I got to know about my hip condition. On the day I overcame one illness, I had to deal with another. This is the newest battle in my life and I am ready to fight it and overcome it with the same resilience and defiance as I have been fighting all the obstacles in my life. Now, I am all the more determined to do really well in my IAS exams. I wont let my condition affect my preparations. 

Some live to fight another day. I fight to live, everyday.

NOTHING CAN BREAK ME. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN BREAK ME.

37 comments:

  1. SOme live to fight another day but you are made to fight everyday !
    stand by your blog title..
    we share a similar dream :)
    good luck for you...
    my wishes for you bro...
    CHEER UP,STAND UP.. LETS ROCKKKKKKK,, \m/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Deepak, really appreciate your wishes. :)
      Yes, we share a similar dream, hope both of us achieve our dreams. :)

      Delete
  2. My friend, even I want to you tell you "nothing can break you, absolutely nothing"..All the best for your exams... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey thank you so much Divya for your good wishes, means a lot to me. :)

      Delete
  3. That's the spirit Akshay :-)
    "I fight to Live everyday"
    So powerful.
    You must be lucky that you were diagnosed in the initial stages.
    Sometimes life can be hard on us, but we never know, Everything happens for some good reason, we just have to be patient enough to wait for it to happen.
    Good luck with your IAS preparations. My best wishes for you :-)
    My prayers to the ALmighty to Bless you Abundantly :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ashwini for your prayers and kind words, very sweet of you. Really means a lot to me. :)
      Yes, thankfully my condition has been diagnosed in the initial stage itself, I am hoping for the best. Thanks again. :)

      Delete
  4. Man! You've been through some bad times..but I love your spirit..All the best for everything :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Keerthana for your kind wishes. Yeah, someone up there thinks I can endure any amount of pain so he has decided to inflict some more. He knows I will always come out on top! :)

      Delete
  5. my god! this is awful. ondu vaasi aagta iro time alli innondu.
    i can imagine your shock when you heard the diagnosis.

    but you will overcome this as well Akshay, hold on, held up high and fight it out like you did the ITP.

    you are in our prayers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Ma'm for your constant support and love, I'm very much indebted. :)

      Delete
  6. hey really nice to know u are prepearing for ias...i might need a bit of help from u as my daughter is also gonna register for upsc next year..will need advise on the books and stuff

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. am soooo soryy akshay i read the first para about the ias and out of excitment jumped to the comment form thinking i l read the remaining after commenting..its shocking that a young man like u has to go through sucha medical condition..i will pray for your recovery be strong and defeat the problem..

      Delete
    2. Thank you very much Alka for your prayers, I need them. Means a lot to me. :)

      And surely I'll be glad to help out with anything regarding the IAS exams. I'll mail you all the books needed and tips to crack the prelims. I'm sure your daughter will do great. And thank you for your wishes again. :)

      Delete
  7. Oh dats really shocking to know dis Akshay.. Get well soon yaar.. Our doctors have lost their brains or what? When they prescribe some medication den they must be aware of even the side effects dat may cause by it and they must also let the patient have an idea abt the side effects.. Some times I feel they purposely do it for their business.. Doctors occupation has become more a business then curing someones pain..

    But i like your spirit and with this spirit none can stop you from making your dream come true. And I wud be proud to know dat u have cracked the IAS exams :) I will pray for u.. Get well soon:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Sonia for your well wishes. Very sweet of you. :) Yes, I was told that the steroids will have some side-effects in the shorter run (that is weight gain, nausea, low stamina etc) but I was not told about the side-effects in the long run which I am suffering right now. Their excuse is not everyone who was on steroids will be affected with this condition but in rare cases it does happen. They say its very "unfortunate" it happened to me. Well, now I don't have any other option but to fight this out and I will. :)

      Thanks again for your wishes, means so much to me. I will surely let you know about my progress in my IAS prelims, still some time away, exam is on May 20th.

      Delete
    2. I am sure everything's gonna be fine soon kano:) And hey u r been tagged in my post.. Please do Check it..

      Delete
    3. Thanks again for your support Sonia and thanks also for tagging me in this fun post. :)

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. Thanks for your constant support Saru, really means a lot to me. :)

      Delete
  9. Hi Akshay, Sorry to know abt that. But hope U will overcome it.
    My special prayers r with U. Get Wellsoon n prepare well for the Prelims.
    Include dal n greens in Ur Diet. Have Beet Salad often.

    All the Best!.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much dear Christy for your kind wishes, I am grateful. Will surely follow your diet tips. Thanks again. :)

      Delete
  10. i had read this post the day it was published , but then i didnt know what to put down here . . its unfortunate to have the adverse effects of a drug which was meant to cure you for better take a toll on you. but yes your reply to a friend who was swearing the doctors was apt . . its not rare the many adverse effects that we study of , trust me ! but then its sad to know the life is testing you again and again . . but cheers to your spirit ! which is sure to take you forward come what may !
    i didnt know whether to promote this post or not . . promoting adversity isnt that pleasant a thing to do ryt . . but then i am promoting this post so tat more readers would read about your strength of mind . .
    regards
    maliny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You being a Doctor, I can understand where you are coming from Maliny and I appreciate your opinion. And thanks a lot for your well wishes, I really need them. :):)

      Delete
  11. I was really devastated to hear the pain and agony you went through and are going through right now. I must say you are a very strong person and I am sure you will overcome it and things will be perfectly fine very soon. :) My wishes and prayers are with you. And all the very best for IAS as well. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for that beautiful comment Raj, I really appreciate it. :)And thanks again for your prayers and wishes too, means a lot to me.

      Delete
  12. That's really sad to know Akshay, i wasn't aware of your ailment and this post of discovering another ailment to endure is quiet sad. Your strength is your mind and am really glad you have the might to combat! My prayers and wishes for a quick recovery. I would suggest yoga/meditation to compliment your medication. Could you pass on your email id?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Divya, very kind of you. :) Yes, my body is holding up because my mind wants it to, my mind isn't going to let my body quit that easily. As always I am fighting to stay fit.

      I am sitting on a wheelchair as I type this, so you know I would really accept any sort of advise or help which would better my condition. I know I am mentally very strong but yes, medication will definitely help me and thank you for suggesting, really appreciate it.

      My email id: akshaykumar101@gmail.com

      Looking forward to your response. :)

      Delete
  13. hey akki ,
    let me know your contact number . i want to talk to you .
    i know you gonna overcome this for sure ....
    but i want to wish you for your IAS prep ......
    message me ur number

    sujith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Suji, thanks for your constant support buddy. Really appreciate it as always. Messaged you my number on FB. :)

      Delete
  14. Akshay,
    I like the way you see life and your enormous energy to face it's tougher sides. It's really heartbreaking to know that you have to go through all this. But don't worry, things will fall back to place soon. My prayers.
    I'm a kind of person who faces the worst adversities and falls down a thousand times before I can stand on my feet. So i can guess strong and tough life must have made you. And I know, "NOTHING CAN BREAK YOU, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING."
    Best wishes for your IAS prelims. Just few more day to go rite? I'm sure, you will do great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks again Leo Paw for all your kind comments, really inspires me and gives me strength. You being a Doctor, these cases might be a pretty common sight but thanks a lot for understanding my situation. :)

      Yes, my IAS preparations have restarted today after almost a week of hospital stay. The prelims are on 20th of May.

      Delete
  15. Hi Akshay

    Good Luck with your exams and your treatment.

    I am sure that one day both these would be small things of the past and you would be walking around as a proud IAS officer.... May God give you all the strength to endure your hardships and help you come out with flying colors ....

    Recently my cousin and mother underwent surgeries to cure a ligament tear in the knee ...With that you cannot walk for nearly a month and after that you have to undergo a painful physio therapy for 6 months....Now both are walking well....This may not be related to your ailment but I am just saying to prove that end of it, it will all be fine!! Take care :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jayashree for such a beautiful comment, really means a lot to me. :)Gave me a lot of strength. :)

      I am really glad to know your cousin and mother have recovered from their ailment and are doing well now. Gives me inspiration to come out from my own ailment, triumphant! :)

      Thanks a lot for your wishes again. :)

      Delete
  16. Akshay, I stumbled into your blog through Arun's.

    Hats off to you!, And your fighting spirit. Keep it up.

    All the best to you.

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words and your wishes buddy.
      Welcome to my blog! :)

      Delete
  17. Good luck to you. God bless. Keep up your fighting spirit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Deepa for your kind wishes. :)

      Delete

Please leave your precious comments here.